Intrusive Thoughts. Therapy.

Morning and night are the same. I don't sleep. I just lay there and wait to nod off.....if I nod off.  I haven't slept past 4 hours since the military, and I haven't slept past 2 hours since my Son was murdered.  No sleep is pretty much the norm now.

With the lack of sleep comes lack of focus that allows my mind to wander at times.  With that wandering comes intrusive thoughts and I absolutely hate it.  I live with two forms of military ptsd, trauma from an abusive relationship, and the murder of my Son. Intrusive memories seem to run rampant at times.  I hate it.

When those thoughts come, I acknowledge the thought and emotion(s) I'm feeling, as I can't go back and feel the emotions from the past, which is a good thing.  I also keep myself in the present time of not being in the past, with the acknowledgement of the intrusive thought. In this, I take control of my thoughts and continue on with whatever it was I was doing before the intrusive thought.

We all go through many things in life and sometimes neglect ourselves, relationships, etc. We suppress many things and over time it manifest in our behavior and conversations. Words spoken out of our mouths are the things that are from our hearts, which are cousins of our intrusive thoughts. Sounds exhausting, but it has to be done in efforts to maintain and manage good mental health. 

There are many people who don't know how and/or need help to manage intrusive thoughts, for those people I encourage them to seek Therapy and know which therapy is needed; grief, trauma, etc.  I further encourage others to know that Therapy is not an end all fix.  Therapy is a resource to guide one through whatever the concern or issue may be.

Needing or wanting Therapy is not an indicator of weakness, it simply means that one needs help in managing something within themselves. I know of many people who've suffered mental and nervous breakdowns due to the lack of, or not taking advantage of a resource before life issues became too consuming.  

Please seek therapy, or, create your own form of therapy to combat intrusive thoughts.  Activities, hobbies, etc. are ways of redirecting your mind to your current reality.  Prayer, Meditation, and other mindful breathing techniques are helpful as well.  Do what's best for you. Don't give in to intrusive thoughts. Don't give up on you. #thatsurthurty