Exception to the Rule

Often we have things planned as we want them to go, then, there are times when our plans have plans of their own. 

No one is exempt from bumps in the road. There's no exception to that rule. That's life. We plan, re-plan, adjust, re-adjust. 

Sometimes, that planning, re-planning, adjusting and readjusting, turns into cancellation. Mind you, all cancellations aren't final. Some are just delays. Plan again. #thatsurthurty

What Drives You?

 Woke up this morning with this guy on my mind. He's on my mind all the time. When I wake. During the day. When I lay down. In my dreams. 

He and his brother were my driving force to live when they both were born. Giving them all I had to give, making sure they had the best I could give in efforts for them to live comfortably.

They both are still my driving force even though one is alive and one is not here anymore. My youngest remaining Son hurts just as much as I do, in a different way, as his big brother was taken away from him.

My Son also has genuine friends who love and miss him as well. There's no need to mention his Family. That's without question. 

I'm angry and sad this morning, and sometimes there's nothing I can do to shake it, so I encourage you all with this.......allow your emotions to do what they do. Feel what you feel. Express what you feel by spoken word, written word, song, dance, art, photography, etc. 

Even if you have to just sit and cry for a minute, that's alright as well. All of what you feel from your emotions, let it drive you. Push forward with purpose and good intent in all you do. #thatsurthurty

Sometimes you have to push yourself.

I'm going to do this last thing, then I'm going to stop. How many times have you said that to yourself, but kept working?  

Sometimes, some of us push ourselves to our max without adequate rest. Yes, there are things that need to get done, and some things that have to remain on schedule, but, what happens if the schedule gets interrupted causing you to go past the time designated for that task? Do you keep working? Leave it for the next person? Leave it for the next day?

The reality is that some things can be left for a later time or date, and, some things you'll have to burn the midnight oil for. Discern. Be careful. Work safe. #thatsurthurty

Michigan to Louisiana

I've taken more trips South than I would like to, for a reason no parent should. I'm a Southern Woman and love to visit the south on a regular basis, yet I've been 7yrs making trips to hearings, and, rescheduled hearings for the person who murdered my oldest Son. I can drive and fly the routes with my eyes closed. I know the lay of the land on the ground and in the air.

As many times that I have to go, I will. There's no way the person who murdered my Son will go free. #thatsurthurty

 

Barren to Fruitful

With the loss of my Son, there have been many things in my life that have not been as they were when he was here. Expected, right? Yes,unfortunately it is expected.

There's a new normal my life was thrashed into when he was taken from me. One, was to learn how to live without him. What parent does that? Two, except that I'm not going to get him back here on earth. That's a hurtful pain that can't be explained.

Thankfully enough I have a relationship with GOD and HE has kept HIS Hand on my life enabling me to continue to move forward, grabbing a hold of things that I'd let fall by the wayside, and, breathe life into them again. 

Death is for the dead, not the living. My Son is dead physically, alive in Spirit. I'm alive physically and spiritually so there is work to do. My physical life is barren of my Son, yet my spirit is full of him. I can't stop living. I have to continue to move forward.

I encourage all of you not to allow a Loved One's death to stop you from living a life of abundance. Yes its hard to live without them, some days may be tougher than others, but you can get through them. 

I further encourage you to find ways, resources, and means of getting and pulling yourself through. Not for them, unfortunately they're gone, pull through and live for yourself. They wouldn't want you to live preparing for death. Live life as you are.......alive. #thatsurthurty

 

Love Of My Life

I haven't found mine, or, should I say he hasn't found me. If he's seen me or not, knows me, or even possibly watching from a distance waiting for the perfect time to approach, I have no idea......I'm patiently waiting.

I've been single all of my adult life.  I dated my children's father, and another guy for a very short period of time. Not at the same time off course. 

My children's father was very unfaithful. 2 1/2 years waisted. My children, and, lessons learned are the good things from that relationship. The other guy, he was trying to use me. I caught on to that quick and left him to his foolishness. Very short lived involvement. After him, there were no more. 

Very comfortable I am being single. Do I get lonely? Sometimes. That's a feeling that is short lived as well. I'm a compassionate, big hearted, permanent relationship kind of woman, and I choose not to have my time wasted, or, waste anyone else's. Actions always speak louder than words. Pay attention. 

I encourage you all with this....if you currently have the love of your life, hold on to them, cherish them, respect them, love them. 

If you're waiting.....please don't allow the bouts of loneliness to cause you to be, or, act desperate. There are some people who look for this type to use for their temporary needs while they're building a life with another. Be careful. #thatsurthurty

Whose Fault Is It?

 Often times when trouble comes a person's way, GOD is blamed for it. The question is asked of HIM, 'why did you let this happen', or 'why is this happening to me'. Well, there is a high percentage the person asking this question brought the trouble upon him or herself.

Yes, GOD allows some things, but for the most part humans cause their own troubles. Taking responsibility for it fills the space of arrogance with humility. This increases the correction, hence pushing trouble out of the way, and ushering in wisdom.

I encourage you to take responsibility for your actions. Be responsible in all your ways as much as possible. None of us are perfect and are going to make mistakes. Please don't allow the mistakes to become habits, and the habits to become excuses. Excuses are the 1st cousin to trouble. Are you related to them? #thatsurthurty

That Call

I was notified today that someone close to me passed on from this life. I first received a text of 'Are you able to talk?', a text in a manner that this particular person would not send. She either calls or text what she has to say. When I saw that text, I knew something was out of sorts, I just didn't want to think or say it. I waited for the call.

Once I heard her voice, I had a strong revelation of what was about to be said, so I braced myself, and sure enough she said the words I didn't want to hear. Our Loved One has gone on before us. I'm thankful that our relationship was strong & consistent. Genuine Love. 

I encourage everyone reading to cherish your Loved Ones in every way. Everyday. #thatsurthurty

Don't fall asleep!

When you are awakened out of your sleep in the middle of the night at the same time for more than one night, that is your unction to pray. That is your official notification of that being your Prayer time. 

Please don't allow yourself to be confused or convinced of it being something you ate before bed😄, unless you're eating, or, drinking something that's not the best for your body every night.

I encourage you with this, when you are awaken, do whatever you need to in efforts not fall back to sleep. Make sure you get that prayer time in. 10 times out of 10, you've already been shown what or whom to pray for. Stay awake. #thatsurthurty

Power of Forgiveness

 All of us at one time or another have heard of a tragedy, or known of someone's situation that has happened and you say to yourself, 'That couldn't be me! I would do this, and I would do that!' Truth be told, none of us know what we would do in a situation until we're actually in that situation. 

We can think of a scenario based off of what we hear or read, but, we're not actually in the situation, so really we're creating a false narrative for ourselves. 

On yesterday I had an experience through conversation with someone of a sensitive subject matter. And the other person said some things that I would under those circumstances give a good tongue lashing. This time wisdom showed her hand causing my tongue to be tamed and speak wise words instead of course words. 

I was able to articulate in a manner the receiver couldn't deny, and, will revisit them at a later time when they will totally understand what I meant at the time of the conversation, and, what I stand for. Most often times when a person is speaking abrasive or harsh, their words aren't received. Their manner of response is, and causes a lack of respect.

It's better to speak from a place of calm and wisdom, instead of unrest and ignorance. #thatsurthurty 

To Burn or not to Burn.

How many times have you heard someone say, or, have said yourself; 'Don't burn Bridges'?  I've heard it quite a few times.  There have been a few bridges I've had to burn, and then there are bridges that I've had to throw people off of.  Not all bridges need to be burned as they are a resource or access for people who mean you good, and things that are good for you.  If you burn a bridge too quickly without considering the situation, you could do yourself more harm than good. 

There are times when you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.  There maybe someone that you want to throw off the bridge who's an asset to you, yet seems worthless. Sometimes a book may have a raggedy cover, filled with knowledge, being the resource you need. I encourage you to never make an emotional decision and weigh the options of everything involved. 

There will also be times when you have to cut off access to people, and rid yourself of bad information enabling you from reaching your goals, completing task, etc. There will be people who desire to take advantage of you and use you for their own purposes. That is when you burn the bridge. No one or nothing can come near you. You're at Peace. Know when to burn the bridge, and, when to throw people off. #thatsurthurty

The Prayer of Jabez. Enlarge My Territory

 'Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request.' I Chronicles 4:10

This a familiar prayer that so many have prayed & declared into their lives. Many also have their own conclusions as to why there is only mention of Jabez in 2 scriptures, and to be spoken of no more. 

I believe Jabez received his request from God and moved on to live a quiet wealthy life. He was a good Steward of what God honored him with by not being boastful and prideful. He had to be a humble man as he's described as causing his mother childbirth pain, and, a more honorable man than his brothers. That's quite a summary of a persons character in one sentence. 

I've prayed and declared this prayer into my life as well. I encourage all who've prayed this prayer to also declare your willingness of obedience to allow God to; guide, lead, prepare and teach you for what's to come, so that you will be ready to receive once the increase arrives.

Trying to get ready or not being ready at all when your Blessing(s) comes is not a good thing. One ends up squandering it away, finding themselves back at zero. Don't be that one. #thatsurthurty

My Anxiety

Anxiety has tried to be my friend for over 2 plus decades. Now in most recent times, it has been more prevalent and is tag teaming with the 2 forms of Military PTSD I live with. They are being fueled by the Hearings for the person who murdered my Son 7yrs ago. 

I've been fighting for this person to go to Trial, unfortunately he's been able to manipulate the system by implementing the Jim Crow Laws that are still on the books, alive and well, in use on a regular basis in the South. 

Those Laws were put in place to falsely accuse and railroads blacks during the late 50's and 60's. In the 70's there was some changes, but, those Laws were never taken off the books. They were amended as not to seem so barbaric. 

So with this my anxiety is high. Why do I say 'my anxiety'? I'm controlling it. I'm not allowing it to overtake me or dictate how I live. I use resources and different methods to keep it from causing me to have breakdowns and outbursts of anger and rage. I control it. It doesn't control me. One day I'll be free of it. 

For anyone who lives with anxiety, call it by it's name. Take control of it. Get therapy. Find or create a Hobby. Write. Journal. Read. Exercise. Whatever you need to do to take control of it, please do so without conviction or embarrassment. #thatsurthurty

R.E.S.T.

I'm currently Blogging from my bed as I've let wisdom set in to rest myself; physically, emotionally, and mentally. Yes, I have quite a few things to do and they need to be done, but is it a life consequence if I don't get those things done today?  No. I also have to consider that I haven't taken a day off this week, so today I R.E.S.T...........Regroup, Exfoliate, Sleep, Transcend.  I encourage you all to do the same. 

Some things can wait. I understand that a man who loves sleep doesn't prosper. I also understand those who have the mentality of consistently being on the Grind with the mantra of; 'no sleep', or, 'team no sleep'. There's nothing wrong with either of those until your body begins to slow down, give way, and in some cases, shut down. 

I have learned this the hard way for the second time. I'm always on the go. I have to do this, I have to do that. I have to get this done right away, or that can't wait until tomorrow. I've had this mentality for so long, ignoring my physical and mental health, that it's caused my body to slow down, and now I have a few minor ailments that I've had to address immediately. 

I've incorporated Juicing, raw vegetables, more exercise, and reading to supplement time that I would be working. In a small amount of time I feel and see the results. The task I have now is to be consistent. No slipping by the waist side on this one as yo-yo effects are not good for the body. So, for those who're reading this, I encourage you to R.E.S.T. #thatsurthurty

First Line of Defense

 You are your first line of defense in all things you do.  Yes, there are friends and family who support and protect you; some to a certain extent, others, with all they have within them, but you have to set the premise and boundaries of how you know it needs to be done through completion. 

Our friends and family aren't with us 24hrs a day so they don't have the full scope of an issue, happening, or, occurrence until we give the run down. And, hearing what happened as opposed to actually being there has a different effect as well. 

What am I saying? Try not to get upset with friends and/or family if they're not supporting you in ways that you desire or need them to. Most do the best they can with the information they're given, others are there for presence only, the; 'I was there' mentality, which isn't helpful to anyone. 

Protect yourself first in all you do. This way you can better protect others from hurting you, themselves, and your relationships. #thatsurthurty